Feeling less than other Christians? Trust Jesus on your unique journey

False standards

At the ripe young age of 16, I was a fairly new Christian when I worked at a Bible camp for the first time as a cabin leader. During that first summer, I inadvertently sought to live up to the expectations of what I thought a good Christian should look like. 

But that didn’t go very well for me. I found it impossible to live up to my own standards. Anger and impatience were chief vices of mine, among others, and when they reared their ugly heads during that first summer of camp, I punished myself inwardly. I told myself I was a horrible Christian for still having anger and impatience.

Looking around at the other cabin leaders, they didn’t seem to be struggling with the same things as me. I felt like the odd one out. I felt like I must be doing something wrong.

A false gospel

In life, comparing yourself with others comes so instinctively, it seems, even when it comes to being a Christian. 

“Why am I not further along in my walk with Jesus?” 

“Why don’t I feel or seem more like Jesus?” 

“Am I really good enough?” 

These are questions you may have asked yourself, whether you’re a new Christian, a forty-year-old Christian, or somewhere in between. You’ve likely had doubts about your progress in the faith. 

I’ve asked myself those kinds of questions—and still do, in fact, particularly after I’ve compared myself to other, more “successful” Christians. Based on Scripture and an amalgam of good qualities in people I respect, I’ve set up in my mind an image of the ideal Christian. When I’ve done something not in line with this vision of a “good Christian,” I’ve felt at times that I’ve missed the mark and therefore considered myself a “bad Christian.” (Cue the self-loathing and pity party. I’ll bring the bubbly, but won’t drink it; I don’t deserve it.)  

Surely I don’t deserve God’s love and goodness. Why would God want to bless a sorry sap of a sinner like me? How could God want somebody like me, who is still impatient, selfish, complains, and doesn’t like getting along with others? 

Here’s the thing: that’s not the gospel! It’s a false gospel, offering something other than what Jesus offers. A false gospel enslaves its adherents in a cycle of shame, fear, doubt, and self-punishment, instead of freedom—peace, joy, love, gratitude—given by Jesus.

Do not judge

Christians aren’t meant to compare and condemn: “Judge not, that you be not judged” (Matt. 7:1). 

Jesus doesn’t want his followers to point their fingers at others, using themselves as the standard for rightness, from which to dole out condemnation. But the same goes for pointing the finger at yourself, and condemning yourself based on the wrong standard you’ve created. (It’s a counterfeit gospel.) 

By setting up another human being as the ideal Christian—judging them as the true standard, or, put differently, as the true image of God, for your life, faith, and walk with Jesus—is also not in line with Jesus’ command. 

Jesus is the judge. And that’s actually good news, because nobody else is. You are not the judge. The person whom you’ve set up as the ideal Christian is not your judge. The standard has been set by Jesus, and he lives up to the standard on behalf of the human race—he lived it out on earth. Jesus did the work; you only have to accept him and his work in you.

A life with Jesus

You are not being made in the image of a “good Christian,” but in the image of Christ. Jesus came to be a human being, to redeem the human experience, and he is the true image of God, meaning he is the standard for the life you are meant to live. He doesn’t leave you out in the cold to fend for yourself, as you seek to be more like him. Jesus does not say “Here’s the manual––hope to see you at the finish line!” 

Rather, Jesus walks with you, close to you, and in you (it’s a mystery to me!), as you live your life toward fully knowing him (Phil. 3:8-15). A relationship with Jesus is not predicated on what you’ve done, but on what he’s done on your behalf, and what he’s doing in you. Like Paul writes, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (‭‭Galatians‬ ‭2‬:‭20‬). 

The Christian life for each person is a matter of apples and oranges. Every single Christian is on their own journey with Jesus. Though no person lives their life in isolation, since everyone needs community, each person has to live their own life of faith themselves. So, you are on your own journey, and God is working in you. On that journey, comparing yourself to others in order to condemn yourself is really not helpful. 

Trying to be like Jesus is not straightforward anyway. Like my professor of a spiritual formation class said, when you become a Christian, a lightning bolt from heaven doesn’t come down and zap you into perfection. That would be great, but it’s not the reality, and realizing that brings a lot of relief.

God’s work happens

So what is the journey of life with Jesus like? Look at Mark 4, for example, where Jesus tells three parables. The second parable of the chapter (Mark 4:26-29) tells of a farmer who throws some seed into his field, and the seeds grow into plants, and the plants are eventually harvested. The farmer doesn’t understand exactly how the whole process works, Jesus explains; he just does his part and the plants grow. 

This parable says something about God’s work in your life. His work is mysterious, but it happens. Even though you are a sinner, God does work in your life, despite your lack of understanding what that looks like or how it will happen. He is sufficiently gracious to make it happen. Knowing that God is at work in you gives you the freedom to trust that a relationship with Jesus is good enough, which grants the serenity to let go of the “comparing and condemning” mindset. 

Circling back to my life journey, if I may, the struggles of my younger years remain the struggles of today. Since that’s the case, I could resort to my pity party, but I don’t, because I’m learning to accept that Jesus loves me, regardless. 

Jesus is the farmer, planting seeds in my life, while God does his part to bring the growth. I am a different person than I was a few months ago, a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago, and over twenty years ago. Through all that time God has worked in and through me. 

We’re all on a journey. You are on a journey, with your own struggles, your own things to repent of, and your own victories. Jesus is at work in you, in his own way, according to his own plan. What is that plan? To make you into his image.

Don’t judge yourself, but embrace what Jesus is doing in you.