Shoulds stripped away

would that i could      lay down my Shoulds

shake off the Oughts      that so often offer

fulfillment      finally flinging      If Onlys      out 

of time      all the time      at the time 

under      threat of regret      obligation

restlessness      towards paradise

lost      let go      littered      languishing      laundered

      a washed out friday march 13th

some Shoulds have      died 

quite quietly      in quarantine      i am 

a survivor scarred      by schemes of      all i Ought 

to be      now healing in highsight      haunted

by habits      of yes      of scraping 

by      myself      living      with 

Shoulds stripped away      cancelled      closed

what is      truest      when time

stands naked      unadorned with Oughts

of others      exposed to      open horizon

      expectationless

as long as i stay off      the internet      the street 

with strangers staring down 

my sneezes      i expel the snot 

of Oughts (minus distancing duty)

such clarity      my lungs      just breathe 

yet i wonder      a validation addict

uncomforted      by time by space by grace      to be

dear God      what Should i      do      ?