The flowing waves of grief

Deep Waters

Grief is an interesting thing. There really isn’t any shortcut through it.

A friend once described it like being dropped into deep waters. You are heavy in the water. You struggle to shore, slowly but surely. Sometimes you get swept under and there is panic or confusion. But eventually your toes begin to touch bottom.

The resistance of the water means you are moving slowly, but as time moves on, you begin to learn to keep your eyes above the water. Yet occasionally, even as you feel comfort coming, a wave thrashes you from behind. Once again, you are overcome by panic, disorientation, and fear.

But once more the waters recede. You find yourself closer to shore, even though your legs are moving slowly.

Another wave. Not as strong as the last, but it hurts and disrupts your progress. It’s hard to breathe at times.

You keep moving.

Eventually, while small waves still come and maybe trip you up, the shore is near, and clear in your sights now that your eyes are well above the waters. You can feel the warmth of the sun on your drying skin.

It’s strange, but your body feels refreshed. The discomfort is leaving, and this leaves you with a special appreciation of the new peace that is coming. Your muscles relax. Your lungs fill with fresh, crisp air.

It’s finally leaving you.

Things Get Better

Having gone through a big grief season recently, I can honestly say things get better. I cried a lot for a long time, but I let hope permeate my every tear. It can be hard to swallow reality, but if you remember what is true, trust that God is sovereign, and embrace this new circumstance, waves of peace will come where grief once was.

Grief is a funny thing. But there is much that is predictable about it. One of those predictable things is that it does not last forever. There will be an end, you will grow out of your loss, and you will be a stronger and deeper person because of it.

So hold on. Know that God is with you, and sovereign in your grief. It is never purposeless.