I wish I had known this back then.

Have you ever thought that? Wished that in a past season of life you had the wisdom and knowledge of the present?

As I arrived at P2C PLUS in my first year, almost a decade ago, I was a mess of unmet desires and broken dreams. The deep heart pain that had lain underwater for so long was beginning to bubble up. The freedom and joy of entering university, with the mounting stress and pressure of school, mixed with a deep longing for attachment and intimacy – I was an emotional pandora’s box as I walked into that first main session room at the conference.

Perhaps you feel like that.

Perhaps you are just beginning to identify longings, pain, or themes of brokenness in your life.

Sid Koop, one of the main speakers at the conference, stated that unlike any other time in history, we are an emotionally broken culture. But it’s in that pain and brokenness where the hope and freedom of the cross, and Jesus, meets us so delicately.

Jesus invites us, “Come to me as you are.”

I attended a packed workshop this year at P2C PLUS on Trauma and Its Impact on Faith and Relationships. I wish I had known more about trauma in my first year. I wish I had known more about the brain, the impact of my childhood attachment, and how stress relates to my body and relationships around me. I wish I had known how to walk forward in healing, both in gospel truth and in the pursuit of healthy relationships. I wish I had known about boundaries!

And yet, in the place where I was at, God was incredibly gracious and loving towards me. He knew I wasn’t ready to plunge deep into knowing everything, but I needed baby steps along the way.

I was on a journey. I needed to learn how to say YES to God. I needed to say “yes” to humbling myself, confessing sin, choosing his truth, spending time with him, and entrusting my work and relationships back to him. I made some big mistakes along the way. Like anyone would, I made good choices, and bad ones. But God was present in each one. Never once did I ever walk alone. Never once did he leave me on my own. He was faithful even in my faithlessness. (I wept as I sang the song Never Once in worship in my first year as a student, as it reminded me of this).

Jesus wasn’t waiting for me to have everything figured out. He had a decade of growth and healing awaiting me – he only required my willingness to trust and depend and say “yes” to him.

Jesus invites us, “Come to me as you are.”

Where are you in your faith? In your family? In your life? Can you bring all your joys, sorrows, dreams, and pain to Jesus? Can you lay it at the cross in surrender and entrust it to him? It only requires the smallest “yes”. When we take one tiny step towards Jesus he takes one giant step to meet us the rest of the way.

You are on a journey. It’s a beautiful one. It’s a messy one. It’s one that won’t end – even in the darkest moments. Let’s meet Jesus where we are at – and see what he has in store for us.

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About the Author

Erin Ford

Erin currently serves as our Editorial Manager for P2C-Students. She is passionate about helping people grow in their faith and discover God. When she’s not writing and editing you can find her cleaning her home, laughing with her husband, and walking her dog Robin. You can read more of her writing on her website at erinwrites.ca.

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